The journey....

To the left or to the right......I know what the outcome of turning to the left will be. I see it, I dread it, it stresses me and I get tense and nervous. I have walked this path many times before. Anyone who crosses my path during this time will see my stress and yes, my fear. It is the known, unknown. If I keep walking the path to the left, it will happen....I will make it happen just that way. It won't be pleasant, my defenses are up, I am at the end of my rope - ready in a moment to fly off the handle. Why do I keep walking this same path?

What about the "right" path? How can this path change things? First of all, it is a "road less travelled" (for those of you who are Robert Frost fans as I am). There may still be a little fear, but the road is not known - is there really anything to dread? The unfamiliar is good in this case. If I continue down the right path, my thoughts begin to wander. Philippians 4:8-9 is what God gave me (Thanks for listening to me, Kim, as God guided me), "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." I am alone on the road to the right, but I am thinking. I am not used to this kind of meditation, dwelling on the positive. Should I visualize the outcome or just keep thinking? When I do think, I find it harder to talk, harder to react, and even hard to communicate - I need to learn that skill. Is it the skill I used to see my father display? After he listened he would stroke his beard, thinking before he spoke. How is it I missed that lesson?

There is much healing left to be accomplished. I am not used to God speaking to me when I am not praying (I am not praying much lately). I am gratefuly that He did. I am grateful that God brought Kim into my life (I can give him credit for this good thing) to join me on the foggy road - the destination unknown - at least for now.